The Firm Stand (Wooden shield)

The firm stand was originally not the name of the now legendary wooden shield, but a tavern in the district of South Zam. Behind the bar of this popular tavern in Brewer Yard, a mighty looking wooden shield was hung as a decorative piece to give the place a classier feel. The shield was originally bought at a secondhand shop by the owner of the tavern for the measly sum of 20 $SOCIETY. There were no mighty craftsmen who invented this shield, nor were there any mighty ape warriors who wielded it in battle. It was just a nice-looking shield with no special attributes at all.

The firm stand was a busy tavern. The artists in the area would gather there almost every day. In the comfortable chairs and sofas, they would smoke their pipes and cigars while sipping fine wines and ales until long after the sun had set below the horizon. It was this unique mix of alcohol fumes and thick layers of smoke that made the firm stand its status as a legendary shield.

After many years of soaking in the fumes and clouds behind the bar the shield would witness a brawl escalating in the main salon of the tavern. There were some heavy arguments being thrown around on the subject of pineapples, so the general mood in the area had soured significantly. After loud yelling and some moderate fistfights, one of the more inebriated apes had pulled up a bow and was prepared to fire an arrow at what he deemed to be the most formidable foe. Intoxicated as he was, he was not able to aim straight and missed his target by a mile. What he did hit was the shield behind the bar. The arrow struck in the middle of the wood and made a thud. After that the arrow shattered and fell flat to the ground. The shield did not have as much as a mark in it. No visible indentation from the arrow at all.

After this strange occurrence the fighting apes soon forgot what they had been arguing about and set out to shoot more arrows at the shield. Each time they shot; the same results took place. No mark on the shield whatsoever. Pulling it down from the wall, the apes tried different techniques to see if they were able to damage it. Ramming it into the wall, ramming it into other apes or generally just hitting it against whatever was in the way did not leave any marks or indentations.

Scholars came to the last stand to have a closer look at the shield. After much head scratching and deliberation, the conclusion was that the oaken shield had absorbed a combination of alcohol fumes and smoke clouds over such a long time that it has hardened the wood in such a way that it was close to impregnable.

The armorers and craftsmen were very interested in this new discovery and have since put up smokeries where similar oaken shields have been hung up for years. These very efficient wooden shields can now be procured on the open market, but the price is high as it takes many years to replicate the properties of the mighty “The firm stand”. To this day, you can visit Brewer Lane in South Zam to have a look at the original shield. Due to its legendary status the owner of the tavern has since made a fortune from the apes visiting his establishment.