Goats Bane Gauntlets (Gauntlets)

Sometimes things do not pan out as intended. That can most definitely be said about the origin of these heavy steel gauntlets.

It had been known for a long time that some of the more scientifically inclined De La Cruz apes of Grolt had been experimenting with new ways of yielding a larger output of general produce for the district. One of the more ambitious scientists had argued that death among animals were one of major factor for reduced output of milk. He further argued that if the apes could prevent the individual animals in the flocks from perishing, not only would the output of the produce be stable, but they would also improve. The other apes in the district though that chain of logic sounded reasonable and gave the scientist some funds to further develop a proof of concept for his plans.

The De La Cruz ape went to work on some already dead goats and quickly found a way to reanimate them. The other apes in the village were sheering and lauding the De La Cruz apes for his inventive efforts. The praise did not last long though as there were some major practical problems with the zombified goats. First of all, no one had really considered the implications of drinking milk from a dead goat, and secondly, how do you go about milking a zombie goat?

One brave ape volunteered and gave a shot at the milking, but as soon as he approached the goat it would turn raving mad and try its best to bite the ape to pieces. Tactical retreat was the only option as it was impossible to get close enough. Several apes were then scratching their heads trying to come up with a solution. Through the collective effort of collaboration, they soon figured out that heavy gauntlets would keep the goat from biting the ape when milking.

The Roberts in the area were known as able steel craftsmen, so the scientists drew up the blueprints of the gauntlets and hurried over to the Roberts smithy. When looking at the plans the craftsmen were shaking their heads and told that it would cost a fortune to craft these gauntlets. They were double plated and reached all the way up to the shoulder of the ape. Several joints near the elbow and wrist made them very maneuverable even though they were heavy, but some studs on the knuckles and sharp steel blades on the side made for some difficult work. The scientists still had a lot of money left over from the initial funds, so they didn’t care. They wanted the gauntlets, and as fast as possible.

The Roberts worked as hard as they could, and within two days the massive gauntlets were ready. The brave De La Cruz ape again approached the goat, this time with much vigor and confidence. As expected, the Zombie goat did not take kindly to the approach and tried its best to bite. To its surprise, it did not have much effect as it was biting through layers of steel. Even for a Zombie goat that was too much to ask. As the ape reached its udders the goat went completely mad and started jumping, kicking, growling, and biting. The poor De La Cruz ape tried his best but could not for the life of him get a good grip. Just as he was about to give up though, the goat had managed to turn around and now was facing the ape. The mad dead eyes of the goat were now staring into his soul. Just as the goat was about to charge the ape managed, by pure reflex, to uppercut the goat with the result that its head came off and flew more than 10 feet in the air. A gasp could be heard from the bystanders, and then silence.

Shortly after this incident, the De La Cruz apes shelved the idea with Zombie goat milking and sold the blueprints of the gauntlets to some master craftsmen. The gauntlets are effective but will cost you a fair bit to produce. At least you know that they are very effective if you should happen upon undead animals.